The Service:
Please review the service and
practice the parents’ parts. It’s
best to do both Hebrew and English so that everyone understands what is being
said. You will see that the
parents’ parts have English, Hebrew, and Hebrew transliteration. If your Hebrew is rusty, we can do the
first paragraph just in English, but we should aim to do the two brachot (the one right after the
circumcision and shehechyanu later
on) in Hebrew. They’re pretty easy
if you run through them in advance once or twice.
There are minimal variations of the service in different rabbis’
manuals, and what I use is a mix from several sources. The service usually takes 15-20
minutes. If a rabbi will be
present, it is easy for us to share the service. If the rabbi prefers a different service, that’s absolutely
fine with me, but it would be good to know this in advance.
Honorees:
A minyan (quorum
of 10 adults) is not needed, but, as they say, a mitzvah (commandment) becomes a simcha
(happy occasion) when you share it with many friends and family members. Honorees
other than the Sandak can be optional.
- Sandak: The person who
holds the baby during the circumcision, and, technically, presides over
things, and acts as backup for the parents. Often, but not necessarily, a grandparent. This is a great honor, and the
person chosen should be worthy of it. The sandak
should be Jewish, and can be either male or female. The sandak is seated at a table, and holds the baby with his/her
hands on a pillow during the circumcision. If the sandak
feels more comfortable doing so, a restraining board with Velcro leg
holders (used for hospital circumcisions) can be employed; I always bring
one with me just in case.
- Candle lighter(s):
Some families have a tradition of lighting candles before the
service. There is no bracha to be said. Kosher Shabbat candles should be used, and there should be no candles
if the bris is held on Shabbat
or a holy day. Candles can
evoke an appropriate mood (kavannah)
as they do on Shabbat or on a holiday. Also, there is a tradition that during the Spanish
Inquisition, when performance of a bris could have been punishable by
death, Jews put lit candles in their windows as a secret sign that a bris
was about to take place.
- Kvatter (male) and kvatterin (female):
There is a tradition that a female should bring the baby to the
doorway of the room where the bris is to take place and hand him to a
male, who then ultimately brings him to the sandak. Some say
that these are godparent roles, and others say that if a couple is having
difficulty getting pregnant, the performance of these roles will increase their
fertility. The word “kvatter” may come from the Yiddish
pronunciation of the Hebrew word kavod
(honor) and the Yiddish word tir (door),
thus meaning “the honor of standing in the doorway.” The kvatter and kvatterin
do not have to be related to each other. At the least, someone will be needed to place him on
Elijah’s chair just before the circumcision, and this can even be a
parent.
- Someone to give the baby wine:
The sandak will have both of his/her hands occupied, and there will
need to be a person who feels comfortable being up close who can give the
baby a finger or a pacifier which has been dipped in wine.
- Someone to say hamotzi: All Jewish occasions involve food,
and it is commanded that you partake of refreshments at a bris. This is called a seudat
mitzvah (“commanded meal”).
If you will be having a full meal, hamotzi (the bracha said
over a challah or other bread product) should be said before eating. If you are serving just a snack,
we can choose a different bracha. The food is considered to be
part of the ceremony, and it would therefore be in poor taste to serve
food which the torah does not
permit (pork, shellfish, etc.) and to mix meat and dairy products.
- Readings: I can give you
sources for passages to be read if you would like to honor someone in this
way. Parents frequently wish
to talk about the significance of the baby’s name and how it was chosen.
Items needed for the
ceremony:
- Please feed the baby just beforehand (he will be calmer) and remember to give Tylenol a half-hour or an hour in
advance. You’ll find the dose
and instructions on another page in this website.
- Kippot (yarmulkes).
I always bring some extras in case you don’t have enough.
- Kosher candles if you are planning on lighting candles.
- A table the size of a card table or bigger in
an area with good lighting: Kitchen, dining room, and card
tables are fine; dressing and coffee tables are not. Plug in an extra lamp near the
table if you have a doubt about the light.
- Two chairs (one for the sandak and one for the prophet Elijah).
- A pillow for the baby to lie upon: Consider putting something waterproof between the
pillowcase and the pillow—many babies urinate as soon as they are
undressed!
- Sweet kosher grape wine or juice:
Should not be a dry wine or wine made from something other than
grapes. Giving the baby
something sweet to suck on has been shown to decrease sensation of
discomfort. Use a Kiddush cup if you have one.
- The best outfit for the baby is a gown that
pulls up quickly and easily: Unbuttoning, unsnapping, taking
pants off, all make things take longer.
- Extra diapers and wipes:
You never know what you will find when the diaper comes off!
- An uncut challah
or other bread product for hamotzi.
- Plain Vaseline for the baby’s aftercare—not needed at the time
of the bris.
6/2012
